Hit List

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The Daily Mash makes fun of Ken Livingstone's idiotic remarks on Venezuela after the controversial Labour figure suggested that one reason for the country's problems is that former President Hugo Chavez "didn't kill all the oligarchs".  

   

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/livingstone-publishes-list-of-all-the-people-he-should-have-killed-when-he-was-mayor-20170803133415

Livingstone publishes list of all the people he should have killed when he was mayor

03-08-17


KEN Livingstone has claimed Britain would be a much better place if he had killed all the people on his hit list when he had the chance.

The former London mayor said one of the great lessons he had learned from Hitler was that democracy was ‘fine for getting you into power’ but politics was really about neutralising your enemies.

Livingstone revealed the list included ‘Thatch, of course’, Richard Branson, Bryan Ferry, Take That’s Gary Barlow and six times World Snooker champion Steve Davis.

He added: “I had planned to have them all killed at the same time, like at the end of The Godfather. The capitalist oligarchy would have collapsed immediately, to be replaced moments later by a socialist utopia – as would have happened in Venezuela if they had just taken my advice.

“Unfortunately I happened to mention all of this during my weekly meeting with the Metropolitan Police Commissioner and so the cat was well and truly out of the bag.”

Livingstone also revealed that Jeremy Corbyn had been on the list after they fell out over an obscure aspect of Marxist doctrine and Corbyn had tried to kill him.

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